अपने क़ातिल से ही हमने दोस्ती कर ली ,उससे बेहतर कोई और हमे समझता कहाँ था विनीत !!

Watching cricket match along with mom...With IPL all around us..I remember those days. Those days most  household just had one television set and no cricinfo or the online portals showing live matches. This meant Inspite of declaring well in advance my match schedule.. I had to fight the battle for TV slot on that day..a gruesome battle between cricket and “Saas bahu saga”. And I remb those days Tulsi Virani could make India come to a halt  in precisely the same way as Sachin still does when he is on 90s. Holy mother of all cows… I still remb the day when Mihir Virani was about to come back to life !!!

Mom “aaj mera match hai ..day night hai..I would need TV in the evening” …Its OK..it all yours..when will you grow up ? Fair enough…I declared it in the morning..Now I can rest in peace and I would get the slot. So you think? You folks are not aware of Guerrilla army ..staying  low throughout the day but hijacking the remote just 30 minutes before the match… “My sisters”.. I could never understand was it just to irritate me or they too really had something to watch..And that led to another battle of remote Vs manual changing channels from Tv..they used to change using remote..I used to manually switch channels …and then later stand infront of TV to block remote signal and then two of us fighting to stand in front of TV. Yeah my sisters always played by rules..never did both of them pounce on me at same time..it was always one on one coz the other one would always run to complain and call Mom . And here comes mother India..we both would go on together and this is how it used to sound “isne maine pehle..mujhe cricket lekin main..isne toda..dhaka..maine tune…JKUgjk YFbuiy bygyghkyg ” somehow Mom used to always figure out the story from these scrambled words. “Didi badi hai na..how did you push her…Sorry bolo !! But Mom I told you in the morning …I would need remote..Sorry bolo pehle…

OK Sorry!! And the younger one would spice things up..Mom OK sorry bola..Sorry nahi..Sorry bolo..OK sorry kya hota hai !!

Mom would then ask my sis to handover the remote to me and finally I would switch channel to the ever mesmerizing voice of Sri Sri Sri Ravi Shatri..you know what you can hear that guy even if you keep your TV on Mute . Finally…I can watch match in peace..So you think? Guerrilla army still won’t buzz from the room and sit alongside…and precisely after 10 minutes…make a loud call to Mom..”Isne jhooth bola..match abhi shuru bhi nahi hua hai…isko sab dekhna hai log kaise ghus rahe hain stadium main …sab dekh lo..we could have seen one episode”…Phata poster and phir se nikli Mother India..”Bunty beta de dena remote abhi match chalu nahi hua hai toh..tu acha beta hai na de de”..and I would fall for the trap and give the remote with a promise from  them that I need it back when the first ball is bowled…That promise was never kept and I always ended up missing first over.

When you just think its all over the bell rings and Dad returns from grocery shopping and wud in Dad like heavy tone "Beta zara news lagaaoo " aaarrgghhh Moooooooooooooooooommmm...he is easy..mom always takes care..& he would know that I have permission from Supreme Court..

“Ab nahi dunga main kissi ko..phir miss ho gya Srinath ka over” And I get watching.. Guerrilla army finally leaves the room…as if their part of damage was done…Half way through the match…I would see my mother sliding from the kitchen to the room with ..my food all set on the plate … Ghee lega Beta” Haan haan…. My loving Mom..I take the food and again fall for the trap.. And the a rapid fire would go putting Derek O Brien to shame…”Kiska Match hai”  “India -SL”  “Pura Dekhega??” “Watt…nahi aadha dekhunga aur aadha aankh band karke imagine kar lunga..ofcourse” “Kaun Jeet raha hai??” “It’s  just started but I think we are in good shape ” “Srinath ka kandha theek ho gya” [The day that guy dislocated his shoulder while bowling..my mom got emotionally connected with him] “Haan Ho gya” “Tunga Tunga bhi hai kya[ths is how she calls Ranatunga]” “Haan hai…” And very very softly ..she would slip in a query “Ad ke beech main ek baar change kar de..woh Tusli ghar se nialne walee the aaj…”

Moooommmmmmm…yeah lo..tumhi log dekho..I don’t wana se..One day ..one day One day I ask and you guys…I am not seeing and I used to walk away inspite of her attempts to stop me. She would switch back to Tusli Virani whose been trying to leave her house for a month but still could only reach to the dining hall after gazillion episodes…silent enemies would giggle and join Mom and I would go back to my room.

“Bunty..India jeet gayi…dekhaa tu nahi dekhta hai to jeet jaati hai..bas aise hi kiya kar…..”

Now everyone's got a TV in their room and a laptop/tablet/smart phone in hand..I watch match on TV/online..and at the same time read commentary on cricinfo..Guerrilla army is hooked to their laptops..Dad is stuck in between..he is got a laptop but he is not too much into it ..moreover he never had any TV slot..if Mom's generous..he is allowed to check headlines ones in a day... Guerrilla army and I have moved on and love the power of technology but Mom is still the good old fashion days... Successors of Tusli Virani are still trying to leave their house..Mom has finally started to realize that these Tulsi's are never gonaa leave their home... She's got all TV slots for her..but she doesn't like the empty drawing room with all TV slots for her...

Haaapy Mother's Day Moma !! Cricket has never been the same.....